Mothers, Teens, and the Empty Nest
“For many mothers (and fathers), the empty nest ushers in as profound a life change as retirement after a lifelong career.”Mother’s Day brings many emotions:
- Sadness over not having children, or losing a child.
- Joy and delight in being a mom.
- Excitement over teenagers heading out to new adventures, or scary nightmares over what those “adventures” might be.
- Dread and deep feelings of loss as you face an empty nest.
If you have children, the day comes when they leave home. Some of you will click your heels and rejoice, but many moms find it a wrenching time of transition. My chapter, These Children Are Too Old to be Mine, from I'm Too Young To Be This Old will encourage you in this inevitable life stage.
As my Mother’s Day gift to you, for the month of May, enjoy a 15% discount on the book when you order it from my website. Use code "MOTHERS2015" at checkout.
"I don't know who I am anymore," said Marcia in an anguished voice. "I spent my time being a room mother, ferrying the kids to sports activities, doing fund-raisers, and just being a mom. Now who am I? What am I supposed to do?"
When the nest begins to empty, life changes. That adorable silky-skinned little baby, once crying to be held and then contentedly nuzzling against your cheek, now needs and craves freedom to explore life on its own. A child, like a butterfly bursting through its cocoon, obeys the urge God gave to break free.
Peggy Altig, a family counselor, summarizes this familiar struggle. "Learning to be a separate person is the main task of young adulthood, becoming equal rather than being under the parent's dominance," she says. In contrast, the main task we parents face is letting go and releasing control. It isn't easy.
When Elliot, a college freshman, told his mother all the guys on his dorm floor were going to get identical earrings, she shot back, “Not if you want your tuition paid, you’re not!” So much for letting go.
Parental control, so necessary at certain stages of our child's development, can be a hard habit to break, but it must be done. Giving our children-turned-young-adults freedom to make their own decisions is tough for many of us.
Why is this? Why do we tug on the ropes that bind them to us, when they long to be respected as individuals with their own opinions, capable of running their own lives? Let's find out.
To read more on this topic, read my article on CBN.com titled "How Can I Let My Children Go?"
Let's Talk: What are your thoughts/experiences with an empty nest? I’d love to know. Despite my scary thoughts and wild imagination, I’m glad to say my two children are sane, sensible, and still talking to their parents. Share your thoughts on Facebook.
Happy Mother's Day!
