Empty Nest: What Feelings Are Behind Your Kid's Struggles?

Give me liberty or Give me death.Patrick Henry's famous statement could well describe the internal drive of every young adult. They must fly from the nest. They must become a separate person if a healthy sense of self is to develop. But it's tough for most of us mothers to let go!Did you know that during the time of late adolescence, answers to three crucial questions are being worked out?Who am I? (I don't think this question is limited to the teen years!) How do I relate to others? What should I believe? Our kid's inner propulsion to become a separate, unique person is not meant as a personal rejection of us (at least, not permanently), but is a response to God's programming.One family counselor told me, "The ultimate goal in releasing our children is having them replace external, parental control with internal self-control. The sooner we give them choices within choices (great advice for toddlers also), with safe consequences, we strengthen their ability to make wise decisions. By saying, 'You decide--these are the consequences of each of these choices,' they can learn that if they want good outcomes, they must make good decisions. It's better to let them learn through less serious decisions while at home than more risky ones when on their own.In my next blog, I'll let you in on some of our bad habits when talking with our kids. I'm still learning on this one! Have a great week,-- www.poppysmith.com