Comfort and Coping with Grief and the Holiday’s!
Hi Everyone,
I wanted you to be blessed by my friend, Lisa Hice, who is a Financial coach and also a prayer-warrior. Lisa's gone through many losses in her life and knows a lot about grief, but also how to live fully regardless of life's hurts. I've invited her to share her thoughts in this blog and I know you'll benefit from it (and by sharing her content with others). Poppy
Guest Blog: Lisa Hice. Grief & The Holiday!
Christmas is such a wonderful time of year as we get to celebrate the birth of Jesus, see pretty lights, and listen to cheerful Christmas music. There is so much joy and wonder this time of year. I love the delight and laughter of seeing Christmas through the eyes of children as they open their presents.
However, the holidays can also be a difficult time of year for many. Especially this year during the challenges of being isolated, dealing with loneliness and having to be away from family. Some of you may also be going through the grief of losing a job, a loved one, a pet, miscarriage, going through divorce or even unmet dreams. From the bottom of my heart, I want to let you know that I send my deep condolences, thoughts, and prayers during this difficult time and season.
I know I can’t fully comprehend how you are feeling, but I want you to know my heart goes out to you. As someone who has also experienced many losses, I know this season is one of the hardest to go through.
It’s my hope that I can encourage you and provide some tools to help you.
During the times when I dealt with the loss of several loved ones, financial loss, job loss, relationship loss and even my pets, the tools that helped me were journaling, experiencing God’s comfort, and processing with a counselor who helped me to get through those times.
Here is one of my favorite Bible verses that I read often. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV.
God comes near to those that are broken, hurting and suffering.
Grief and loss of a loved one can affect people differently and have several stages.
First: It may be the busy, shock and denial stage. The time where you are preparing for the funeral, sorting belongings, selling property, and reading wills.
Second: When things finally slow down and people are not around as much, the sadness can hit.
Third: It can lead to a stage of anger, regrets, and deep mourning. Thoughts of “I wish I did that or said that to the person.” It may even lead to a time of feeling depressed. These responses may differ in intensity for everyone but don’t stuff your feelings. It is healthy and good to take the proper time needed to process and grieve. Even Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus (John 11). In time, things will begin to look and feel a little easier.
This time of year can also produce a lot of triggers for many people. It might be a decoration, a scent, a song, a picture, seeing someone, a memory, or not having that special person at the dinner table. Being aware of this, it may help if you prepare yourself by knowing that triggers and emotions can come at you anytime. Allow yourself the space and time to process if that happens.
If feelings, emotions, and depression is more than you can handle, I encourage you to reach out to someone. After several of my own losses, I met with a Stephen’s Ministries mentor and attended a grief support class in the Spring of 2023. It was helpful to have someone just to talk with and listen. Here are a few of the tips and healthy habits that can help you during this difficult season.
Well-being tips
· Exercise
· Get outdoors and fresh air
· Eat Healthy
· Stay Connected with Community
· Journaling
· Laughter
· Time or communication with those close to you
· Enjoy the things that bring you joy (What is your favorite hobby)
During times of grief, loss and hardship there can be a tendency to want to numb out. Some may turn to alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, and over-committing themselves in order to stay busy. If this is describing you, or you have past addiction issues, reach out to a counselor or someone you can confide in.
There are many resources available that can help you process. These include counselors, grief counselors, classes, divorce care, and as I mentioned above, Stephen’s Ministries, pastors, and mentors. These resources can be found at local churches, hospitals, and other organizations and can even be a part of your work benefits. Many companies offer employee helplines that you can reach out to for someone to talk to. (See a list of RESOURCES below.)
Reach out: If you know someone who is experiencing a season of grief or loss, I encourage you to reach out to them. One of the greatest gifts you can give is a listening ear and time. Especially at the 30-90-day mark after the loss. This is a peak time for grief to hit, and it’s often the time when others are not in contact as much as before.
Again, I want you to know I am so sorry for this difficult season and send my condolences. It is my prayer that the God of comfort comes near to you. May you be filled with His love and a great sense of hope during this season.
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!
Bible Verses:
Psalms 34:18, Psalms 147:3, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Matthew 5:4, 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, Revelations 21:4
RESOURCES:
Stephen’s Ministries-https://www.stephenministries.org/griefresources/default.cfm/774
Suicide Prevention: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/suicide-prevention
Mental Health & Addiction Helpline: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
If you know someone who may benefit from this message, feel free to share with others.
Guest Blogger
Lisa Hice