Struggling To Be Content? Try Being Thankful!

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances… I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation….” Philippians 4:11-13 Paul, the Apostle.
 
I often remind myself that I only have one life to live. 
Do you ever think about that?

But then I go further and ask myself: SO, POPPY, HOW DO YOU WANT TO LIVE IT? CONTENT, OR DISCONTENT?  HOW ABOUT YOU? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

I imagine most of us would answer the same way: Lord I want to live a life that honors you.  I want to live my one life joyfully content with You and the life You’ve given me (even though I do grumble at times!).
 

BUT IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO BE CONTENT?  AND REALLY:
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

• The Apostle Paul was not grumbling or complaining about learning to be content when he wrote to the church at Philippi. He’s thankful for whatever he had—plenty or little to nothing. 

But notice what he says about contentment: I HAVE LEARNED!  THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT COMES EASILY TO ANY OF US! 

CONTENTMENT IS NOT COMPLACENCY IN THE FACE OF THINGS THAT SHOULD BE CHANGED—BECAUSE SOMETIMES THINGS DO NEED TO BE ADDRESSED AND CHANGED.

CONTENTMENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH INACTIVITY OR RESIGNATION—sighing and saying, What can I do?  I’m helpless.” God expects us to stand against evil and sin, not passively accept what is not pleasing or honoring to Him. He wants you, and me, to thrive, to flourish, to live with joy and peace and purpose.

• LET’S BE HONEST: CONTENTMENT ISN’T HARD WHEN LIFE IS GOOD—IS IT? Then we’re thankful, grateful, and happy.

BUT: WHEN LIFE is hard, disappointing, hurtful, leaving us wanting something else, or someone else, or some other situation—are we supposed to be content with that?

• SOMETIMES THE ANSWER IS NO.  SOMETIMES IT IS YES.

BUT SOMETIMES IT IS realizing that GOD might be wanting you and me to CHANGE OUR ATTITUDE AND LEARN TO BE CONTENT.  This is what I needed to learn.

In my early years of marriage, I got tired of having no money except for paying the mortgage and buying food.  I would complain to my husband about everything, and especially our ugly furniture.

 We had an end table that was a wooden box with a round wooden top on it and a round tablecloth covering it. Most of it was secondhand stuff—garage sale finds—cast offs. So I’d wander around nice furniture stores and feast my heart on lovely sofas, armchairs, dining chairs—everything that fed my discontent.  I also stood at magazine stands and drooled over the pictures of beautiful houses. But what did that do for me? It made me more discontent, more irritable, and more angry.

Did my complaining and griping make any difference to my husband?  Not a bit!  He was firm!  We can’t afford new furniture, what we have is adequate, isn’t stained or ripped, it just isn’t what you want! AND NO, WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHARGE IT BECAUSE WE DON’T NEED IT!

NOT ONLY WAS I UPSET AND DISCONTENT WITH OUR FURNITURE, but I WAS also UPSET AND DISCONTENT WITH HIM!!

• In my book on adjustments in marriage titled: WHY CAN’T HE BE MORE LIKE ME? I describe a lot of my struggles with discontent—we saw things differently, he wouldn’t do what I wanted, he didn’t agree with me, he made me unhappy. My whole focus was on what made me miserable—and because of that focus, there was no room to hear God whisper to me,

“Poppy, the more you focus on what makes you unhappy, the more unhappy, bitter, and miserable you will be.  Is that what you want?
 

“HOW ABOUT YOU?  IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF?

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Even though I was spiritually and emotionally immature, I realized I was at a crossroads where I had to CHOSE WHAT DIRECTION I WOULD GO. Would I walk away? Would I stay and stew in my bitterness and poison our relationship with my tongue and my anger? Would I demonstrate to my watching little ones how to behave when you’re unhappy? OR WOULD I:
 

Ask God to help me LEARN TO BE CONTENT WITH my life?

That journey toward contentment began by asking God to show me how He saw me.

 What did He see that needed transforming in my thinking, my attitudes, my behavior?

I hated who I had become—and cried out to God to change my perspective and give me eyes to see His goodness even as I struggled to become a different person.

One step God impressed on me as I became more aware of how I was behaving is something I encourage you to do, especially in this month where we’re challenged to be thankful. 

• List all the good things in your life—a home, food, a car, a roof that doesn’t leak, Christian friends, family, etc.
• Make a list of all the good qualities in your husband or close friend or relative.
• The good things in your marriage. The ways your husband, or friend, blesses you and what you’d miss if they weren’t there.

Being thankful changed my perspective and helped me LEARN TO BE CONTENT. THE SAME CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!

CAN CONTENTMENT HAPPEN WITHOUT ASKING GOD TO CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES? NO!  It is a work of God within YOU.  IT IS SOMETHING THAT IS POSSIBLE, AND IT IS SOMETHING GOD WANTS FOR YOU. DO YOU WANT IT FOR YOURSELF?

Let me know if I can help you with any struggles you have in this area. I’ll share more on this topic in the coming blogs.

Blessings,
Poppy