MEN, MONEY AND CHRISTMAS!
Who is Santa Claus in your home? Who whips out their credit cards with a Ho Ho Ho, impulsively and generously buying expensive gifts for all?Who groans when the bills come in?Did you know that fights over money are one of the leading causes of divorce? And, sadly, the Christmas season is one of the most likely times to get into fights because you view money, spending, and debt differently.In last week’s blog I listed differences about celebrating Christmas that are rooted in your upbringing. How much you want to spend on Christmas presents, parties, and fun celebrations can also come from your family model, either because of your parent’s example of generosity, or as a reaction to the pain associated with this season.In either case, if spending money at Christmas creates tension in your home, see if this quick quiz about different views of money helps you to understand each other:
- Money symbolizes success. If you or the men in your life want to show they’ve done well, the tendency is to spend. Spending generously can also be cultural, where family, friends, and business acquaintances expect a certain level of gift-giving. If money means something else to you, friction can result.
- Money means security. You’re happy to give gifts, but only if they’re reasonably priced. You feel more comfortable with giving only one “big” gift and maybe one “small” gift. But your spouse views this as displaying a stingy attitude rather than the “generous gift-giver” they expect. Again, different views about money can create conflict.
- Money equals power. If you both have an income, does the one who earns the most have the power to say how much is spent and on what? This can contribute to arguments coming from feeling hopeless, frustrated and resentful.
- Money means having fun. Life is meant to be fun and Christmas is the ideal time to experience it.Whether you (or the man you’re thinking about) has to charge it or not, what’s the point of celebrating the season if you don’t spend?
Do you recognize what money means to you? What about to the man in your life?
I’d love to hear your comments on this topic.
Knowing what fuels your fights over money is only one step in the right direction. The next is what to do about it.There are many practical suggestions in the chapter I Think “Bargain”, He Thinks “Bankruptcy” (Why Can’t HE Be More Like ME?) If you have the book, let me encourage you to read Ch.9 and work on the steps listed there to help reduce tensions over money that are common in marriages. If you don’t have a copy, why not treat yourself for Christmas? You can download it here, or order it from my bookstore!This is the last in our series: Are Men Jerks—Or Just Different? I hope you agree that God created us to be different and that He allows our differences to drive us to the inner changes we need. As a gentle reminder, here’s what God wants to produce in our:
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
If your gender, personality, or life formation have produced frustrating differences between you, ask the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in you (and him). I’m doing the same!Wishing you a wonderful Christmas season—and lots of bargains as you go shopping!Poppy[Tweet "The #Christmas season is one of the most likely times people fight over money, #spending, and debt."][Tweet "Men, money and #Christmas! Are men jerks when they say NO about #spending? #budget #spending"]Photo of cartoon couple